The VelociPastor

Holy crap. Where has this been, all my life?!? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_VelociPastor

Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)

Have we talked about this here before? I saw people talking about it somewhere not too long ago... it could have been on Twitter.

Anyway, as totally retarded as this movie is, it's actually pretty entertaining. Here is its IMDB page: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111361/

Denise Richards should have won some kind of award, for consistently acting like she took this seriously. She really appeared to be absoutely deadpan, in earnest, and not kidding around at all... it reminds me a little of how everyone acted in Airplane!, in the sense that a lot of the comedy comes from the actors seeming to be unaware of how preposterous the whole movie is.

Anyway, I read somewhere that the director knew someone who had an animatronic T-Rex on his hands for a few weeks, for some reason, and they just said "hey! We should make a movie with this!" and they just concocted a stupid script so they could have a movie with an animatronic T-Rex in it.

I have to respect that.

The interesting thing about this movie is the cast. If you're playing a horror version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, this would be great movie to know about. You can connect a shitload of 80s and early 90s horror classics to each other, via this movie.

It has George Buck Flower in it (of course, he was in EVERYTHING, including Pumpkinhead, They Live, The Fog, and basically every other 80s horror movie). It also stars the evil psychologist from F13 part 7, and people from the Hellraiser and Leprechaun franchises. It has John Franklin, from Children of the Corn. (He has his head bitten off, by the way, which is the kind of thing that everyone here knows I'm a big fan of). It has Sean Whelan from The People Under the Stairs. It has someone from the Maniac Cop movies... I forget who it was, but I noticed someone a few hours ago when I was googling this stuff. It has someone from Beetlejuice (if you're willing to call Beetlejuice a horror movie, just for the sake of discussion).

But most importantly: it has Denise Richards performing a striptease (not TOO explicit, but certainly a striptease) in front of a disembodied brain hooked up to a camera. That alone put this in the same league with Blood Diner.

So! Yah. Had to share.

New Feature: Dark Mode!

Cuz markus said the Alien theme would be better dark and I agree. In fact, I think a lot of this site would be better with a dark mode, so I revamped the themes I just revamped with dark mode compatibility.

Refresh your page if you haven't already, then check your dropdown menu for the Dark Mode toggle setting. Note that I've only tested the movie-based themes, but give it a whirl and tell me what you think (try desktop view as well as mobile/resizing).

Talons of Justice

Here are the best lawyer commercials of all time.






His youtube channel has many more. https://www.youtube.com/c/BryanWilsonLawHawk/videos

#Lawyer #Midget #Sexy #Trash

Butt Boy (2019)

That's right, Butt Boy.

After receiving a rectal examination, Chip, who looks just like a chubby Tom Green, quickly develops an obsession with sticking objects up his butt. He starts small, but the objects keep getting bigger. Soon he moves on to living things. Before long, kids are disappearing. A detective, who Chip happens to sponsor in AA, begins to suspect that the kids are disappearing up Chip's butt.

I don't want to give away what happens, but things just get crazier and crazier. But here's the kicker. It's played completely straight. And it is far better written and acted than you could ever expect from a movie with such an insane premise.

New Site Theme: Nightmare

I forgot I made this, so I finally finished it. Accessible in the header bar or home page, may require refresh. Whatever you do, don't fall asleep.

What are you listening to right now? (Volume 3)

Troma figured the last thread ran it's course so I've been nominated to start a new one. So to get started here's a song titled with Troma's favourite director:

White Boys from New Jersey

this is pretty funny:

Hard to Die! 1990

Here's a link to my review for this movie:
https://trashepics.com/post/1/771/

If you're wondering why the fuck I'm referring you to a review of Sorority House Massacre 2, it's because it's the same fucking movie!

The only real difference is that this one is set in a big office building instead of a sorority house, but otherwise, you have the same cast (either renamed OR playing the same characters), the same tropes, the same flashbacks to Slumber Party Massacre 1, and the same damn plot progression. Most importantly, this movie features the triumphant return of one Orville Ketchum, though the actor Peter Spellos is surprisingly NOT credited for this on imdb. Maybe the imdb editors were confused because this movie credits "And Orville Ketchum as Himself". 😄

This was shot back-to-back with the last one, so the vibes are exactly the same. However, this one features more guns with even less continuity behind them. For example, people can be standing feet away from each other blasting each other with ak-47s and still miss. There will be no bullets hitting the walls or breaking the glass behind them, because the budget was obviously tiny. This movie was shot in 10 days, they follied a few sounds of squeaky toys and balloons for whenever the girls rub their breasts, and fuck it. Send it to the distributors as is!

Anyway, all you need for a movie like this to be successful is a bunch of scantily clad dames running around screaming and taking long showers. Put a random trash can on the roof of an office building, make a reference to Walter Paisley, and I'll be extra happy. Despite all the naked bimbos in this movie, Orville Ketchum is the real star.

#Review

Synchronic

In case you didn't know, Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are some of the best filmmakers to come out of the last decade. Just go ahead and watch Resolution, Spring, and The Endless if you haven't already. Judging by those movies alone, I knew this new(ish) one wouldn't let me down.

A common theme in some of the aforementioned films is time fuckery, and this movie is no exception. Two paramedics get caught up in a bizarre drug plot that yields a story with plenty of emotional depth, tension, and artistic merit. The plot isn't a convoluted sci-fi mess like others in this genre would try to be, but it has a lot to say about the wonderful world we live in today. If this movie crosses your path, give it a watch.