Guilty Pleasure Movies

Hey all. Let's discuss guilty pleasure movies. I wanna know your top three. I will think on mine and comment later. Have fun!

Teenagers from Outer Space!

With a title like that, you'd expect some hokey sci-fi piece of crap, but this one was actually pretty good. It's got a shit rating on imdb, but what do they know about trash?

In this story, a bunch of human-looking motherfuckers land on earth and immediately blast a dog with a ray-gun and disintigrate it, leaving only the bones behind and the dog's tag. Derek is one of the more rational ones who considers it in poor taste to annihilate a poor little creature on a planet that is obviously civilized enough to write and tame animals. This prompts argument amongst the crew, who the majority of are in favor of using earth as a breeding pit for gargons, a violent but plentiful food source for them.

When Derek realizes how stupid this is, he escapes their wrath and they send Thor to retrieve him as they lolligag back to their own planet for some reason or another. What ensues is Derek's assimilation to earth, where he meets a nice old grandpa and his granddaughter Alice, all while the irritable Thor searches for him, blasting anyone who gives him lip with his death ray, leaving behind a trail of skeletons as he intends to bring Derek back to the home world before the gargons take over.

One of the instantly recognizable features of this movie is the same stock music used in Night of the Living Dead. That music must have been around for a while.

The movie has a surprisingly good pacing going for it, with the setup, meeting the other characters, a cat and mouse game, a love story, and the eventual battle with the enlarged gargon, which looks like a giant shadow lobster. Somehow, a movie with this concept was given a fair amount of thought and was rather competently made. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Robot Monster 1953 - B-Movie Trash

Oh boy, where do I start with this one? Get ready for some spoilers, because I can't not go into detail about this sci-fi mess of a movie.


The film begins with little Johnny and Carla playing space explorers while out on a picnic. Soon, he stumbles upon a cave with two scientists, known simply as Professor and Roy. When Johnny's mother comes to collect them, everybody seems to get along just fine...
Suddenly, there's a bunch of lightning and lizards are fighting! Dinosaurs are about and the world goes to shit!


Some amount of time seems to have passed and the world is in ruins after the Ro-mans have destroyed all humans. All 2 billion of them. Only five or so people are left, and they live right next to the Ro-man robot monster's cave and he doesn't even know it because they live in an electrical forcefield that renders them invisible to him.

Ro-man is a big monkey looking motherfucker with a clunky tv/scuba thing on his head, and his mission is to destroy all humans. Naturally, he has a hard time accomplishing this because he's a bulky fat piece of shit who can't find the humans that are living right under his nose.

Throughout the movie, he can't find them even when they're simply standing right outside of his cave, complete with two minor pieces of electrical equipment that he seems to utilize because that's probably all the budget could afford.


Professor and his thick accent conspire to destroy Ro-man throughout the movie, all while daughter Alice and leading man Roy are flirting about. Roy talks about milking her and she talks about playing with him and then the two are on about fixing some circuit for some reason or another.

Clearly, they're just poking some busted electronic equipment with some other busted equipment and pretending that they're actually doing stuff, but they're not fooling anyone, and they can't even get it to work. This is all just filler to signify human's persistence or something. I don't know, and they probably don't know either.

Desperate for a truce, they aspire to communicate with Ro-man, but he only wants to speak with Alice. Probably because she's the hot one. However, leading man Roy wont stand for it and ties her up for her own good!



This hour long movie comes with an intermission so the audience could stretch their legs and snap out of their stupor, and when it returns, Johnny runs away just so Alice can be set free to look for him with Roy. Even though he isn't sweating, Roy takes off his shirt and keeps it off for the rest of the movie.

If anyone is sweating in this movie, it would have to be the guy in the big hairy suit who's clearly too out of shape to pose any real threat to those who can easily outrun him. All he can do half the time is shake his fist at people as they run away from him, but that's beside the point.

As Roy and Alice are gallavanting about in search for the stupid kid, they decide to get married, even though they're on a time-sensitive mission to escape from planet earth or some shit.

Everyone takes a break from the dire situation to partake in this dull festivity and Roy and Alice then go on a honeymoon, simply a klick away from everyone else. Meanwhile, Ro-man easily catches little Carla and strangles her to death. Mother cries about it, but nobody else seems to give a fuck.

Roy and Alice encounter Ro-man and fight him for a couple of seconds until Roy is thrown off a cliff and Alice is captured and brought back to the Ro-man cave, getting conflicted thoughts about his orders because he wants to bang this human woman.

Roy returns to warn professor during Carla's apathetic funeral and then he dies of exhaustion or whatever, and that's when Johnny hatches a winning plan to mislead Ro-man as the others rescue Alice and make Ro-man vulnerable, and Ro-man's superior shoots lighting from his fingertips from light-years away and destroys Ro-man and revives a bunch of dinosaurs during an earthquake and the whole world dies again.

In the end, it was all a dream and everybody lives happily ever after. Or do they?!

This was easily one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. It was so bad that it ruined the director's film career and he tried to kill himself, but he even fucked that up. If you want some mesmerizing garbage, watch this movie that's often considered one of the worst films of all time.

#Review

TE Status Update

In this era of quarantine boredom, I've been drinking a lot. Hasn't everyone? I got so much homework, my teachers felt like it wasn't enough and they started adding more assignments. How fucked is that?

With that said, I haven't made much progress on site stuff, but it's always in the back of my mind. It would be more in the back of my mind if I had some weed, because 4-20 2020 is going to suck without it!
I got some personal stuff beating me down, but I've still been working on a few new site features that I'll be introducing soon hopefully. Some visual gimmicks, some interactive junk, and have I mentioned how drunk I've been getting? 1.75 liters of whiskey just ain't lasting long enough!

I want to talk about movies, but the industry is in a slump. We wont have any summer blockbusters this year, but at least school shootings are at an all-time low!


I'm very disappointed at how dead the site has been lately. Nobody has shit to do these days, and they're not doing shit on TE. People seem to be running amok with covid memes on facebook though, because that's productive, right?

Get your shit together, people! When the world comes back to life, you'll realize how little you've accomplished in all your time off and you'll wish you did something productive. I'd be way more productive with weed though...

Damn, I need a drink...

Trash Challenge IV: Oh, Hi March!



Alright, who's in the mood for some trash?

As always, it'll be one point for every trashy quality below. It doesn't have to be a significant amount of anything. As long as it's there.


Nudity

Gore

Rape

Hardcore Penetration

Incest

Drug Use

Blasphemy

Cannibalism

Intentionally Bad Qualities

Video Nasties - Any movie to ever appear on this list.

SOV - Anything shot-on-video from the 80's and 90's, or beyond, if you know of anything.

Beastiality

Necrophilia

Racism - One point for racist characters, or any type of blatant racism expressed.

Retards - Any characters who appears to be mentally handicapped is good for a point

Garbage Point - One point earned if you genuinely hate the movie and have a difficult time making it through.

FTV (First Time Viewing)


And then, there's the Trifectas. Instead of using directors, series, and actors, the Trash Challenge trifectas are all about the old Exploitation sub genres.

Sexploitation, Blaxploitation, Hixploitation, Nazisploitation, Bikersploitation, Canuxploitation, Ozploitation, Nunsploitation, Rape/Revenge, Lezbo-Vamp, Women In Prison, Jungle Cannibal Epics, Mondo/Shockumentaries, Nudie Cuties, Giallos, Throwbacks


3 in a row from any of the above sploitations will count as a trifecta.

A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

Single Trifecta - 5 points

Double Trifecta - 7 points

Triple Trifecta - 9 points

Etc.


Films must run no less than 40 minutes to count.

This challenge will be for the month of March.

Good fucking luck!


I https://trashepics.com/post/9/105/

II https://trashepics.com/post/9/186/

III https://trashepics.com/post/9/229/

Black and White movies on Youtube

They have a lot of public domain crap on youtube, but I don't know what's good. I can sift through some of the garbage myself, but if there's anything decent on there, I'd prioritize it. Give me some recommendations, please!


The winner of this month's challenge will receive a roll of toilet paper.

The Masked Singer

Okay, So I tried to Post this yesterday. So I will now, and then add an update on who went home.

Hey guys. How is everyone doing? So I have been watching the maskedsinger, and as a way to keep busy I have been obsessively trying to frigure outwho the eight remaining singers are. I sound like a conspiracy theorist, butthat is okay. There is a mystery to solve, and anyone who knows me, knows Ilove a good mystery. So I bring it here. Even if you guys do not watch the showmaybe you can help me figure it out. So, without further ado:

Group A: 15. 4 Million instagramfollowers combined. Gronk, eliminated last week, has 3.4


The Turtle: First off, the turtle has someamazing vocals. Like wow, the dude can sing. I love it!!! Here are some of theclues:
1.) Grew up with a bunch ofactors who burned out early.
2.) Surf Board
3.) Spent a Morning with NicoleScherzinger
4.) Method Actor
5.) Not a dancr, but can Dance
6.) Not Known for Just onething
7.) Comic book titled: Theamazing adventures of Shellboy priced $10.13.
8.) D.R.E.A.M.S.T.
9.) The letter A + and Omega sign.


Okay, so these are the majorclues I picked up on. So my first guess is that he grew up in a teen world.Teen TV maybe. So I thought Disney. The surfboard could be for a movie hestarred in, or again with the teen tv theory, a Teen Choice Award: Which is asurfboard. The comic book could mean he played/voiced a super hero. And DreamSt. is a band.

My Original guess was ZacEfron, but not all of the clues add up. And then I started thinking JesseMcCartney. Who grew up singing and acting, and was in the band Dream ST.



The Kangaroo: Honestly, the Kangaroo baffles me. I have a couple guesses,but Im not sure im right. Here are the clues.

1.) In the spotlight for thewrong reasons
2.) Fighter.
3.) A gramophone?
4.) Horseshoe
5.) Outback
6.) Cosmetics
7.) Mom
8.) Basketball
9.) 23
10.) Teenage Drama queen
11.) Sat at the same table asLeah Remini
12.) Bouncing back after beingVillified
13.) Never lived in Austrailia


Okay my guesses for this personare: Jada Pinket Smith, Jordyn Woods, Lindsey Lohan.
Update guys: Jordyn Woods was unmasked as the Kagaroo lasdt night!

Group B: All Have beenInterviewed by Oprah

The Kitty:The Kitty is absolutely stunning. Her voice is so powerful.And I really feel like I know of the person under the mask. I do think she willmake it to the finals.
1.) Loves the weird and wonderful
2.) Wizard
3.) Astronomy
4.) Favorite subject is English
5.) Wroter sci/fi and sold it for aquarter
6.) Fireworks
7.) Candle Sticks
8.) Crystal Egg
9.) Bullied at School
10.) Can See Ghosts
11.) Started Young
12.) Struggled With Self Image
13.) Wasn't dreaming when RobertRedford helped her get her first role. My guesses for the kitty are LucyHale and Emma Watson... but I fear I am most likely wrong.


The Frog: The Frog is so fun to watch. I absoluetly adore him!
1.) Started Young
2.) Baket Ball
3.) CSI
4.) $19.00 and a walk of fame star.
5.) $106
6.) Favorite Subject is P.E.
7.) He's Opened doors for thebiggest celeberties.
Okay, so there is only one personthe frog can be. It's definitely Bow WoW. He started young and was in a moviecalled like mike which was about playing basket ball. He has a show called 106park, and has a song called the price of fame. The frog is definitely BOW WOW. The


Banana: I have a couple guesses for the banana, but he stumpsme.
1.) Cowboy hat
2.) Blue Collar
3.) Chips
4.) Sons of Anarchy
5.) Blended
6.) Actor
7.)Whats more inspiring than doinglaundry?
8.) Go Karts
9.) Built a race track, tire iron,
10.) Traumatic injury
11.) Father recently passed away
12.) You might be a kindred spiritif you ever rocked one of these:Mullet
13.) Blue collar has many meanings.When he says it he isnt meaning comedican in the standard way.
Okay the only people I can come upwith are jeff Foxworthy, larry the cable guy, Bill Engval, and Brett Michaels.

Group C: 7 Grammy NominationsCombined
The Rhino: I thought I knew who the rhino was, but today my guesshas changed.
1.) Gentle Giant
2.) Addicted to being On Top
3.) Grabd Ole Opry
4.) Risk Taker
5.) Married
6.) Family is very important forsuccess, especially when you grow up performing for the king
7.) Musical Passion since childhood
8.)Rising up the billboard charts
9.) Has an album
10.) slot Machine Okay I originally thought this couldbe Gavin DeGraw.

Some of the clues matched up, but today after scouring theclue once more and looking them up, I now think it is Barry Zito.


The Night Angel:
1.) Gangster Grandmas
2.) Like and Angel
3.) Empire
4.) 4,5,6
5.) Missed senior prom, but redusedto miss graduation even though she had a huge career oportunity.
6.) shhh....Ive always had faith
7.)Not Just a voice, but a mogul.

I had no clue on this one, I thoughtby the way her voice sounded it could be alicia keys, but alicia keys has wonso many grammys it cant be her. Some of the judges are saying Kandi Buruss, andafter further investigation, Im pretty sure its her.
The Astronaut:
1.) Flying HIgh
2.) Pitch Perfect
3.) Skeleton Foot
4.) Young Age
5.) Fresh Start
6.) Friends with Stevie Wonder
7.) Broke A world Record
8.) Took a nose dive on stage recently
9.) Reaching for the stars justtakes some help from an organized xrime family.
10. ) No traditional voice training.
11.) Leads a Crew

So for the astronaut, I have noidea. Im guessing
Hunter Hayes or Ryan Tedder.


If you have made it this far, theMasked Singer is amazing and fun to watch. My preditions for the Final 4 isgoing to be: The Kitty, The Turtle, The Night Angel, and the Frog. We will findout soon. I will comment who is unmasked as the show progresses.

Would you Rather?

Okay. I thought it would be cool to have a would you rather thread. So I will start, and people can answer, and make up their own.


Would you rather be stuck in a horror movie, or a supernatural romance novel?

Desert Island

Okay. You are stranded on a desert island. What three movies/or books do you have to keep you company.

•I know you wouldn't be able to watch anything on a desert isladn, so just pretend you can lol.

Tales from the Darkside - Season 1

Here's a recap of all episodes from season 1. This is my first time watching the show and I enjoyed it quite a bit. Can't wait to start season 2.

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s1e01 - Trick or Treat (1983) - directed by Bob Balaban
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0717007/

This is a Halloween take on the old Scrooge story about a guy who collects debts and enjoys the suffering of others if he can come out on top. He has a haunted house rigged up with all kinds of spooky sound effects and fans behind curtains to scare the shit out of children. One of the men he's wronged sends his kid in there to look for those IOUs he's hidden about the place so he can clear his debt, but the old Scrooge doesn't let this one get by him. Instead of learning a valuable lesson at the end, this asshole goes straight to hell.

s1e02 - The New Man - directed by Frank De Palma
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716994/

After impressing his new boss with his good work ethic, Alan Coombs is offered a drink. Alan doesn't drink anymore, so boss man drinks both of the drinks and that's that... or is it? The next day, Alan's young son Jerry comes to see him, but wait a second... Alan doesn't have a son named Jerry?! Throughout the episode, he's driven mad by this ruse that everyone seems to be playing along with. He's been drinking again, hasn't he?

s1e03 - I'll Give You a Million - directed by John Harrison
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716950/

A couple of rich old bastards make a slew of bets against each other. One of the men offers his soul, because why not? He doesn't believe in any of that, so he's got nothing to lose. Right?

This story has echoes of many common anthology stories, primarily "Something to Tide You Over" from Creepshow. This episode was directed by John Harrison, who has directed 8 episodes in this series and has a knack for doing horror anthologies in general.

s1e04 - Pain Killer - directed by Armand Mastroianni
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716966/

A man with back pain finds no rational explanation for it from doctors until he meets a different kind of doctor... one who suggests that the man's wife is the reason he suffers so much. What's the remedy to this dilemma? Take a guess.

s1e05 - The Odds - directed by James Steven Sadwith
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0394938/

Danny Aiello never refuses a bet, because he never loses... until Tom Noonan walks into his neck of the woods and owns him.

s1e06 - Mookie and Pookie - directed by Timna Ranon
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716962/

A twin girl finishes her terminally ill brother's computer project, and it begins to disturb her parents when she gets too into this project. Tippi Hedren plays the mom. Not particularly a dark episode, but it has a weird charm to it.

s1e07 - Slippage - directed by Michael Gornick
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716974/

David Patrick Kelly is a graphic artist whose existence is put to the test when people seem to forget about him. Even his own mother doesn't recognize him! Maybe there's a rational explanation, but probably not.

s1e08 - Inside the Closet - directed by Tom Savini
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716953/

A girl rents a room in a fancy house from a guy I recognize from Creepshow and Twilight Zone. She thinks there's a rat in her room, but maybe it's something worse.

This was a bit more effects heavy than the other episodes. In this one, we get a couple drops of blood. Whoop-dee-doo. I understand this was regular tv back in the day and it had to be tame, so this isn't a criticism. It's a decent episode with an interesting monster.

s1e09 - Word Processor of the Gods - directed by Michael Gornick, written by Stephen King
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0717005/

Bruce Davison is a writer who inherits a new word processor. However, this word processor does more than write stories. It writes reality! Pretty good episode. Gotta love those retro computer effects.

s1e10 - A case of the Stubborns - directed by Gerald Cotts, written by Robert Bloch
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716919/

Christian Slater and his mom are mourning the death of old grandpa, but when he comes walking down the stairs for breakfast, they don't know what to make of it. He's dead all right... but that stubborn old fuck wont take dead for an answer!

I quite enjoyed this episode, particularly the ending. Something about it is sort of funny, but sort of haunting at the same time.

s1e11 - Djinn, No Chaser - directed by Shelley Levinson, written by Harlan Ellison
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716936/

A guy and his new wife (Colleen Camp) stumble upon a genie lamp. However, this fucker doesn't want to grant them any wishes. He's just being an asshole! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar plays the djinn. Not very dark, but more of a comedy episode.

s1e12 - All a Clone by the Telephone - directed by Frank De Palma
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716923/

Beep Beep Richie has been trying to get a job through his agent Dick Miller, but he's had a string of bad luck. He also has a faulty answering machine that's been telling people off. When the machine gives him attitude, he disconnects it, but then it starts to disconnect his life. This is some weird alternate dimension type stuff, but who's in what dimension?

s1e13 - In the Cards - directed by Theodore Gershuny
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716952/

A phony fortune teller comes across a deck of cards that gives everyone a bad reading. Sometimes deadly. This one ends abruptly and it seems off, like maybe the writers didn't know what to do and said fuck it.

s1e14 - Anniversary Dinner - directed by John Strysik
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716924/

A lonely older couple dwell on their anniversary and how much they miss their children. When a few hikers stumble across their home, they think nothing of it... until it happens again. Then, they offer room and board for the pretty polite girl, and well... I don't want to say much else. The ending to this one is actually pretty good.

s1e15 - Snip, Snip - directed by Terence Cahalan
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716975/

Bud Cort plays a loser satanist who wants to win the lottery with his magic number: 666666. Why he feels so lame is beyond me, because this dude is sitting around in a robe drinking booze in a fancy looking place, but he still seeks his due. However, his super ultra satanic magic lottery number... doesn't win. Carol Kane's magic number, 666667 does. How can this be!? A pretty decent episode. Entertaining at the very least.

s1e16 - Answer Me - directed by Richard Friedman
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716925/

An actress in a New York apartment is harrassed by a serial phone caller... in the next apartment. Apparently, weird shit happened there before, and it's likely to happen again when you're just another tale from the darkside! The lead actress was in a great episode of Twilight Zone, too.

s1e17 - The Tear Collector - directed by John Drimmer
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0717002/

Jessica Harper is so sad. So sad that a man notices and wants to give her therapy sessions so she can cry, and so he can collect her tears. Huh... what a weirdo, but somehow, he's charming her enough that she wants him, but he only seems to want her tears.

This one ends up not being much of a darkside story so much as it is a consolation tale. Not bad, but different.

s1e18 - The Madness Room - directed by John Hayes
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716991/

An older man with heart problems has a young attractive wife that he feels unfit for. When another man comes along to talk business with the guy, they decide it's a good idea to bust out the old ouija board, learning about "the madness room" inside the house and trying to find it. This one had a good ending.

On a strange side note, I looked up the main actor Stuart Whitman, who was supposed to be playing an "old" character in this episode from 1985, and strangely enough, he died on March 16, 2020, only days before I watched this episode...

s1e19 - If the Shoes Fit - directed by Armand Mastroianni
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716951/

A politician gradually becomes a circus clown. Perhaps a metaphor for the democratic party?

s1e20 - Levitation - directed by John Harrison
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716956/

Joe Turkel plays a circus magician whose greatest trick was a levitation act with no strings attached. Two young men seek the secret to his act, but he doesn't want to reveal the dark magic that allowed it, but when push comes to shove, he just might...

I liked the ending of this one. It's kind of funny, but rather bleak at the same time.

s1e21 - It All Comes Out in the Wash - directed by Frank De Palma
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716954/

James Hong is a laundry man who can wash away people's sins. One businessman takes advantage of it his esoteric process by breaking the rules laid out for him, so take a guess what happens? Something bad, obviously.

This one was kind of stupid. In all honesty, I didn't quite understand the correlation between this man's conscience and his excessive need for clean laundry, as he seems to be changing his shirt far too often.

s1e22 - Bigalow's Last Smoke - directed by Timna Ranon
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716931/

Bigalow wakes up and boy, does he need a smoke. He could have sworn he left one in the dresser drawer, but it's not there. He searches all over his apartment, but they're nowhere to be found. Furthermore, nothing seems to be working. TV static, no dial-tone, and the windows and doors are barred!? A man on the tv tells him he's free to go, but only when he stops smoking. How hard could it be for a man who's been smoking several packs a day since he was fifteen?

This one was pretty good. The main dude has been in some mafia stuff and he kinda looks like Jean-Claude Van Damme. You can somewhat sympathize with him, but you know he needs to take things more seriously. You can spot the twist coming, but it's still a fun one.

s1e23 - Grandma's Last Wish - directed by Warner Shook (the gay dude in Creepshow and Knightriders)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716945/

Grandma, is a nuisance for her family. She doesn't want to be, but her inability to hear things and her fuck ups annoy the shit out of them and they want her gone. In comes the talk of sending her to the old folk's home, which doesn't sound like any fun to her. The family says they'll make her last week at home a good one, working to grant whatever wish she has. She only wishes they could understand her plight a bit more, and they do. Oh yes they do... This episode was pretty amusing with a fun ending.

s1e24 - The False Prophet - directed by Gerald Cotts
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716986/

Ronee Blakely from Elm Street fame is a southern gal who stops in an Oklahoma cafe for all beef dogs, because she likes all beef dogs and astrology and machines. She takes them too seriously, and this place has an astrology machine that tells her to beware of false prophets. When the strange stuff happens, she listens to the machine whether she ought to or not, and if it's something from the darkside... perhaps you shouldn't listen to it.

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"The darkside is always there, waiting for us to enter. Waiting to enter us. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight."

#Review